Melodromaticly Something
As I sit here, awaiting the daily grind to really get started I stare at my bottle of ADD medication. Is it really working for me? Is it right for me? Or is it something that fills my head with the thoughts of it working, like a placebo. I do feel the effects of taking the drug, but is it really doing its intended job, or bringing me into a world of addiction to "medication" that maybe I dont really need.
I pan my eyes across my desk to notice that, its still a pig sty. Yet, the piggynessisity of it all is not near the calibur that it once was. Its mostly just a pile of papers that have been used and have yet to be disposed of. In a matter of moments, I find that my desk will be clean again. One day, after a regular weekend, I came into work to see the status of my desk and actually thought to myself, "How can anyone work with this mess" and proceeded to clean up my desk in a matter of moments.
But, in reality, is it this drug, or is it just me, taking minor steps into being a mature adult? Instead of the childish little games, am I really making personal strides in my life, with Gods help of course, and finally reaching that plateau of maturity? I was over at a friends house a couple of days ago, hanging out and having a beer or two, and the discussion of age came around. I am going to be 32 next month, and the discussion turned to when we were younger we could exert ourselves and not feel a thing. Now we are at the age where if we over exert our selves, or even just exert ourselves just a little bit more than normal, how the next day we feel it.
I would like to think myself as a young and strapping young man, with a bit of a beer gut. However, the realization is that is not true. I am getting older. My thought patterns are different. The way I handle things is a little different. I dont truly know if it is the drug, or if its me, finally, hitting a sembalance of maturity. As I write this, I havent taken my medication yet. I usually take it around 10. That way, it gives me a chance to wake up and truly feel the effects of the drug.
I will admit, though, that I have found that my ability to focus has changed. I am able to focus a lot better. I have found that I am not letting myself get pulled in 12 different directions. When I start on a project, I work until its complete. That has been something that was mentioned to me in the past. I start a project and work on it fine, but once it gets "old" my interest fades from it. This week, I have acomplished 2 major goals that needed to be resolved. One has a minor detail that needs to be resolved, but that should be resolved with a little bit of trial and error.
I look at it this way, regardless of the fact, if it is the drug or not, I have to say, I am happy. I am happy with the change that has happened in my life. I know that God is always with me, and sometimes, its difficult to see that. Like the Footprints in the Sand poem (one of my all time favorites, I might add) I know that God has carried me through some of my rough spots. And I am also sure, that it is HIS hands that are helping me change. Maybe the drugs are really working, but ultimately it is HIM.
All I can say, is that there has been a change in my life. And its for the better. I plan ahead a little bit better, and hopefully that will also improve.
I pan my eyes across my desk to notice that, its still a pig sty. Yet, the piggynessisity of it all is not near the calibur that it once was. Its mostly just a pile of papers that have been used and have yet to be disposed of. In a matter of moments, I find that my desk will be clean again. One day, after a regular weekend, I came into work to see the status of my desk and actually thought to myself, "How can anyone work with this mess" and proceeded to clean up my desk in a matter of moments.
But, in reality, is it this drug, or is it just me, taking minor steps into being a mature adult? Instead of the childish little games, am I really making personal strides in my life, with Gods help of course, and finally reaching that plateau of maturity? I was over at a friends house a couple of days ago, hanging out and having a beer or two, and the discussion of age came around. I am going to be 32 next month, and the discussion turned to when we were younger we could exert ourselves and not feel a thing. Now we are at the age where if we over exert our selves, or even just exert ourselves just a little bit more than normal, how the next day we feel it.
I would like to think myself as a young and strapping young man, with a bit of a beer gut. However, the realization is that is not true. I am getting older. My thought patterns are different. The way I handle things is a little different. I dont truly know if it is the drug, or if its me, finally, hitting a sembalance of maturity. As I write this, I havent taken my medication yet. I usually take it around 10. That way, it gives me a chance to wake up and truly feel the effects of the drug.
I will admit, though, that I have found that my ability to focus has changed. I am able to focus a lot better. I have found that I am not letting myself get pulled in 12 different directions. When I start on a project, I work until its complete. That has been something that was mentioned to me in the past. I start a project and work on it fine, but once it gets "old" my interest fades from it. This week, I have acomplished 2 major goals that needed to be resolved. One has a minor detail that needs to be resolved, but that should be resolved with a little bit of trial and error.
I look at it this way, regardless of the fact, if it is the drug or not, I have to say, I am happy. I am happy with the change that has happened in my life. I know that God is always with me, and sometimes, its difficult to see that. Like the Footprints in the Sand poem (one of my all time favorites, I might add) I know that God has carried me through some of my rough spots. And I am also sure, that it is HIS hands that are helping me change. Maybe the drugs are really working, but ultimately it is HIM.
All I can say, is that there has been a change in my life. And its for the better. I plan ahead a little bit better, and hopefully that will also improve.
posted by The Dog at 8:43 AM
1 Comments:
Praise God for the healthy changes that are going on with you! Change can happen because of a revelation or because of something we don't understand at all. Either way, we are all being transformed by the renewing of our minds. The Lord works...
peace 2 U, my brother.
Diana
pea
Post a Comment
<< Home