To where the time goes

Well, its been a while, and I dont care :)

Been quite busy and I have been just so tired and not having the desire to write in my blog as of late.

Been busy at work, been busy in my personal life as well.

James turned 5, on the 22nd of this month, but we had his party on Saturday. A few kids showed up, and as I had expected, I was out with the kids, a majority of the time, whilest mommy dearest spent time with her friends, and my parents. But whatever.

He got a bunch of toys, but the one thing that I got him that Im quite excited about, is a guitar.

Also, at c6m there have been a few spawnings. And those spawngings have really brought me down memory lane about when James was born. I see another article in the making.....

Anyways, until next time.....
God Bless

Where in the......

Now, that last post, I have no idea where it came from. It started out as an article, but changed. I guess, I am still not over her.

I thought I was. I guess I wasnt. I dont know....but Im not going to focus on that. Im going to continue to focus on what I have in my life, which is my son and my job and some super duper wonderful friends.

So, yeah. Thats what Im going to do :)

As I watched the cameras pan across the faces of all these college students, it reminds me of what I lost. I am one of those statistics, that I remember hearing on the first day of my college experience. I did not finish college. Hell, even when I was there, I wasn’t.

I don’t want to blame anyone, as the truth is, I have my own self to blame. However, I never had the support system. I did go to college, spent one year at Old Dominion University, other wise known as Over Dose University, but I never really went there. I loved hanging out in college, but I hated it there.

My whole time in high school was under scrutiny of my mother, who never wanted to let me out farther than 2’ from her side. I was transferred from the high school I went to, to go to this little Christian School. There were a lot of troubles within my home life at the time. My mother told me, prior to me going to this school, she had considered divorce, and it was because of me, that she considered this.

During my last year of high school, in a completely new school, away from all my friends, I struggled. Now, I am not a dumb person. I am not the smartest person either, but I did not see how my placement in this Christian school would help. I was the only male in the 5 person Senior class. Not only that, I was the only male in the Junior and Senior class.

Now, when that whole cliché of only the rejects are sent to Christian Schools, played in my head, I came to realize, after being at the school for a year, how true this is. I stood outside, on the side of the building, smoking my Camel Lights cigarettes, while watching my back, like a convict smoking crack in jail.

I wasn’t the only one. All the girls in the Senior class, but one, were out there, as well as 90% of the Junior class. I just felt out of place there, but I also got to be myself there. At one point, I wanted to just leave school. I was just sick and tired of it all. I remember that I could not see a future for me. I never did walk out like I wanted to. One person said not to quit. It would be stupid to quit.

In all honesty, that person was the greatest thing that happened to me, in one of the worst times in my life. It was the response to my obvious cry for help that got me intrigued. In a free moment within a mass of people I said that I was considering dropping out of school. It was her that said I would be an idiot if I did, as it was my last year of school. Her straight strawberry blond hair, resting on her shoulders was the one person who convinced me from dropping out.

She was a skater girl, while I was more of the jock. In all honesty, she was my first train that I willingly missed.

The first mistake that I will never be able to change……..

I was able to get in contact with her, a few years ago. She was married. Which I knew.

Kristen Renee K...something......

I meant it when I said, Im sorry for the way I ended it.

I truly am sorry.