Layeth the Smackdown upon thy candy ass
The other night, God really opened up my eyes to who I really am. I am not this guy who is so much like Christ, that I thought I was. I do have a heart for servatude, and I try to do what I can to live my life like Christ, loving others. However, in my pride, I failed to see that I am so far from HIM that its pathetic.
There were three things that I had done, in recent past, that God showed me. The first was when I went camping. A good friend was there and she has a good relationship with James. Well, when I needed to do something, I wouldnt ask her if she could watch James, I took it for granted that she would be able to do it. As the weekend went along, I had noticed that it seemed as though she was trying to avoid me. On monday, as I analysed her actions and my actions, it dawned on me why she was "avoiding me". I have since apologized to her about it and she admited to me that it was wearing thin....I felt horrible, still do but.....
Another thing that sorta scared me was, on Tuesday, I was at a friends house hanging out. I had a couple of beers, but nothing major and another friend asked me my opinion on how to get her extremely skittish dog to eat. As I proceeded to give her my suggestions on said issue, I became very passionate about what I was talking about. I had litterally stepped out of my body and went off on her, about how to get her dog to eat. When I came to.....I was shocked. Again, I have since apologized for that and she too, was cool about it. And again, I still feel bad about it. I even apologized to her husband.
The third thing, Erick, at Circle Six Magazine, wrote an article about benevolence. I read the article, thought it was good, but what I read, I thought that I was already a step ahead because I had already done this. So, I posted how awesome I was because I already lived my life like that.
However, as I was driving, back to work, I started pondering on that subject. I started to get a feeling of how my post was so full of self arogance and what not, as I was flicking off some jack-off in his Mercedes because he wouldnt let me cut in front of him. That started to weigh on how far I am to being Christ.
I had gotten back to work, and wanted to read my post, just to ensure how bad it sounded. I thought it sounded ok, but it still had that ring of self-rightous and just pure arrogance. However, I also wanted to re-read Ericks article. I had also perused the internet and came across a blog entry that, in all honesty, I knew something was gonna happen. I had apologized on Circle Six Magazine and to Erick personally, to which he gracefully told me that there was no need for me to ask his forgiveness.
Later that night, as I sat in my car, listening to Not Called Common, I felt Christ sitting next to me. I litterally felt His arms wrapping around me and felt Him assure me that everything was going to be ok. As I thought about it, it sorta dawned on me, that I know, some day in the future, I will be sitting in my car, or room, coming to another realization that I have started to fool myself again into thinking that I am a better person than I truly am.
I thank GOD with all my heart, for being the loving and caring God that He is. I am thankful for Christ's promise in Him never leaving me. It is I who chooses to walk away and do things my way, all the while, Christ sits there, watches over me and waits. Waits for me to turn back to Him and say Im sorry. Christ will again say, "It's OK. What did you learn?"
What I have learned is this. I, my friends, am an ASS!!!!!!
There were three things that I had done, in recent past, that God showed me. The first was when I went camping. A good friend was there and she has a good relationship with James. Well, when I needed to do something, I wouldnt ask her if she could watch James, I took it for granted that she would be able to do it. As the weekend went along, I had noticed that it seemed as though she was trying to avoid me. On monday, as I analysed her actions and my actions, it dawned on me why she was "avoiding me". I have since apologized to her about it and she admited to me that it was wearing thin....I felt horrible, still do but.....
Another thing that sorta scared me was, on Tuesday, I was at a friends house hanging out. I had a couple of beers, but nothing major and another friend asked me my opinion on how to get her extremely skittish dog to eat. As I proceeded to give her my suggestions on said issue, I became very passionate about what I was talking about. I had litterally stepped out of my body and went off on her, about how to get her dog to eat. When I came to.....I was shocked. Again, I have since apologized for that and she too, was cool about it. And again, I still feel bad about it. I even apologized to her husband.
The third thing, Erick, at Circle Six Magazine, wrote an article about benevolence. I read the article, thought it was good, but what I read, I thought that I was already a step ahead because I had already done this. So, I posted how awesome I was because I already lived my life like that.
However, as I was driving, back to work, I started pondering on that subject. I started to get a feeling of how my post was so full of self arogance and what not, as I was flicking off some jack-off in his Mercedes because he wouldnt let me cut in front of him. That started to weigh on how far I am to being Christ.
I had gotten back to work, and wanted to read my post, just to ensure how bad it sounded. I thought it sounded ok, but it still had that ring of self-rightous and just pure arrogance. However, I also wanted to re-read Ericks article. I had also perused the internet and came across a blog entry that, in all honesty, I knew something was gonna happen. I had apologized on Circle Six Magazine and to Erick personally, to which he gracefully told me that there was no need for me to ask his forgiveness.
Later that night, as I sat in my car, listening to Not Called Common, I felt Christ sitting next to me. I litterally felt His arms wrapping around me and felt Him assure me that everything was going to be ok. As I thought about it, it sorta dawned on me, that I know, some day in the future, I will be sitting in my car, or room, coming to another realization that I have started to fool myself again into thinking that I am a better person than I truly am.
I thank GOD with all my heart, for being the loving and caring God that He is. I am thankful for Christ's promise in Him never leaving me. It is I who chooses to walk away and do things my way, all the while, Christ sits there, watches over me and waits. Waits for me to turn back to Him and say Im sorry. Christ will again say, "It's OK. What did you learn?"
What I have learned is this. I, my friends, am an ASS!!!!!!
posted by The Dog at 9:06 AM
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