A heavy Heart.
Well, I wanted to start off with this. My ex-wife just found out that her step-dad has run off with a girl about her age and her mom and step-dad are getting a divorce. She called me on Sunday and asked if I could take James to school this morning. I would like to ask those that read my blog, please pray for her. She was really emotional when I spoke to her on Sunday.
Also, a person from my past, seems to have invaded my mind again. She is a girl I used to date, when I was a senior in High School. She was my first love. I have had dreams about her, vivid dreams about her. One of those dreams went like this.
(This is the first one) There is a circle of people getting ready to play soccer. There are a few people there and I walk up to the circle and ask if I can play. One of the guys say, "Can you play?" and out of no where I hear this voice that says "Oh, yes, He knows how to play, he's quite good." I turn around and there she is. end of dream.
Second dream I had was (that I remember) Im in a classroom, sitting in our desks. I look up, and she is sitting right across from me. I start to freak out a little bit. (I was thinking she hated me because of the way we broke up) So anyways, she writes a note and passes it all the way around the room (the chairs were set up like in a semi-circle and she was directly across from me.) As the not arrives to my desk, I notice that its for me, and it has an address on it.
The third dream, its some type of camping event and I am sitting by all the fire wood, just hanging out. All of a sudden, she shows up and we talk for a bit. Out of the blue, she says (in the dream, mind you) "I still love you".
Talk about waking up going "What the Hell?" So, I start thinking that deep in my heart, I am seeking some type of closure, or maybe I was dreaming about her because my life was so much less complicated when I was dating her.
I was madly in love with her, however we had to seperate. Her step-dad (at the time) was running some type of scam and doing some shady business, so her mom and her decided to take off. I remember the day she left like it was yesterday. As she drives her little red honda hatchback down the exit, her strawberry blond hair waving in the breeze. She waves bye to me, as we had planned on me moving down to where she was at, TX.
We continued to date during this time. I had started going to the local community college. I had met this girl and driven by lust, I ended up breaking up with her.
So, I thought I wanted closure. I had worked with a friend of hers, who went to the same school as she did, but graduated before I started going there. SO Im working with one of her friends and she showed me a picture of Lisa. She was as beautiful as I remembered her, not a thing had changed about her. I also knew that she had gotten married and from what I heard, Lisa's husband didnt like the thought of her and I meeting up again. Lisa had come into town for her friends wedding, and I had mentioned that I would like to meet up with Lisa. But I respected her husbands wishes and didnt press it.
Then those three dreams popped up. So, I found her via "Classmates". I sent her an email, not expecting a response, but I got one.
"Holy Unexpected responses Batman!!" We sent about 3 emails. THe last email I had sent was me saying Im sorry for the way I ended things with her. She never responded. Honestly, I felt better about it, I figured that was what I needed, to apologize to her for being an ass.
Well, I woke up yesterday morning, her still penetrating my mind, but this time it wasnt as harsh. Yes, she is still on my mind, I think she will always be. However, I also know that the likely hood of us running into each other is slim to none, and I am cool with that and accept that.
As I was driving into work this morning, something dawned on me. Maybe, just maybe, this was one of the times where God was laying her upon my heart (as was all those other times) to pray for her. So, I prayed for her, probably about 3 times this morning, on my way to work, a half hour drive.
I really dont know what is going on, but it seems as though she has been laid upon my heart, so I am praying for her. I wish to ask you to pray for her as well.
Thanks
Also, a person from my past, seems to have invaded my mind again. She is a girl I used to date, when I was a senior in High School. She was my first love. I have had dreams about her, vivid dreams about her. One of those dreams went like this.
(This is the first one) There is a circle of people getting ready to play soccer. There are a few people there and I walk up to the circle and ask if I can play. One of the guys say, "Can you play?" and out of no where I hear this voice that says "Oh, yes, He knows how to play, he's quite good." I turn around and there she is. end of dream.
Second dream I had was (that I remember) Im in a classroom, sitting in our desks. I look up, and she is sitting right across from me. I start to freak out a little bit. (I was thinking she hated me because of the way we broke up) So anyways, she writes a note and passes it all the way around the room (the chairs were set up like in a semi-circle and she was directly across from me.) As the not arrives to my desk, I notice that its for me, and it has an address on it.
The third dream, its some type of camping event and I am sitting by all the fire wood, just hanging out. All of a sudden, she shows up and we talk for a bit. Out of the blue, she says (in the dream, mind you) "I still love you".
Talk about waking up going "What the Hell?" So, I start thinking that deep in my heart, I am seeking some type of closure, or maybe I was dreaming about her because my life was so much less complicated when I was dating her.
I was madly in love with her, however we had to seperate. Her step-dad (at the time) was running some type of scam and doing some shady business, so her mom and her decided to take off. I remember the day she left like it was yesterday. As she drives her little red honda hatchback down the exit, her strawberry blond hair waving in the breeze. She waves bye to me, as we had planned on me moving down to where she was at, TX.
We continued to date during this time. I had started going to the local community college. I had met this girl and driven by lust, I ended up breaking up with her.
So, I thought I wanted closure. I had worked with a friend of hers, who went to the same school as she did, but graduated before I started going there. SO Im working with one of her friends and she showed me a picture of Lisa. She was as beautiful as I remembered her, not a thing had changed about her. I also knew that she had gotten married and from what I heard, Lisa's husband didnt like the thought of her and I meeting up again. Lisa had come into town for her friends wedding, and I had mentioned that I would like to meet up with Lisa. But I respected her husbands wishes and didnt press it.
Then those three dreams popped up. So, I found her via "Classmates". I sent her an email, not expecting a response, but I got one.
"Holy Unexpected responses Batman!!" We sent about 3 emails. THe last email I had sent was me saying Im sorry for the way I ended things with her. She never responded. Honestly, I felt better about it, I figured that was what I needed, to apologize to her for being an ass.
Well, I woke up yesterday morning, her still penetrating my mind, but this time it wasnt as harsh. Yes, she is still on my mind, I think she will always be. However, I also know that the likely hood of us running into each other is slim to none, and I am cool with that and accept that.
As I was driving into work this morning, something dawned on me. Maybe, just maybe, this was one of the times where God was laying her upon my heart (as was all those other times) to pray for her. So, I prayed for her, probably about 3 times this morning, on my way to work, a half hour drive.
I really dont know what is going on, but it seems as though she has been laid upon my heart, so I am praying for her. I wish to ask you to pray for her as well.
Thanks
posted by The Dog at 9:48 AM
1 Comments:
I took a moment to pray.
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