I gotta say..........
God is awesome and wonderful and true to His word.
I got a call this morning, from James. He wanted to talk to me and tell me a secret. I asked him what the secret was and he said "Whisha whisha whisha"; a game that him and I play.
I know that I have said before that I couldnt wait til this whole thing was over so I could start singing His praises, but really, I shouldnt have said that. I am singing His praises every day.
If it wasnt for Him, I would be sitting here, brooding over the fact that James is in Sweden. We all know what my greatest fear is. But, thats all it is, a fear. A fear that I will not realize, because He has said, "They will be back".
Many times, I have had an assurance of something and once that peace filled me, I lingered upon the fringes of temptation. This time, those temptations to drown my sorrow with our good friend Alcohol, have not been there. I havent even thought of drowning any sorrow, as those sorrows have not been there. Yes, I have missed him, I still do. Hell, honestly, I miss him every week that he is not around me. But, I know that I will see him.
I am bursting with His joy and excitement right now. And only for the fact that He has shown me, and told me, that I am one of His. I used to brood over how much of a sinner I am, how much of an idiot that doesnt deserve all that I have, yet He continues to show me, how I am an idiot for thinking these things.
Although, along this journy of life, I have seen the truths about who I am, and I will tell ya, its a scary thing. Ask God to show you, you. It will open an eye or two. It did me. But, knowledge is key. By seeing my shortcomings, I have been able to work on them. Just over a year ago, I had just moved back from WV and let me tell ya, I was a lost and confused individual.
Now, dont get me wrong, I know that I do not have "it", the answer to life or anything like that. I am comfortable in my position at the moment. I feel safe, resting in His hands. But I know that soon, I will have to venture out into the cold dark world, maybe get me a girlfriend. Will I have the same strength that I have now? Even if I get me a "christian" girlfriend, will I have the strength to withstand the temptations that I know will be thrown at me?
Maybe I should be like Paul, remain single for the rest of my life and just keep my focus upon James. But, I also think that the men that enter into his life, through his mother, will not show him what a man is supposed to be like. Am I the person that would be able to show James, what a man is supposed to be? Only time will tell.....
I would like to say, thanks, to those that have kept me in their prayers. You know who you are....You all are in my prayers also.
Life is good, and no matter how in the dumps I get, I just pray that I will realize that God is sitting right next to me, waiting for me to turn to Him, instead of my devices.
(had written something earlier, but didnt post...so this is completely different, much more jovial.... :) )
I got a call this morning, from James. He wanted to talk to me and tell me a secret. I asked him what the secret was and he said "Whisha whisha whisha"; a game that him and I play.
I know that I have said before that I couldnt wait til this whole thing was over so I could start singing His praises, but really, I shouldnt have said that. I am singing His praises every day.
If it wasnt for Him, I would be sitting here, brooding over the fact that James is in Sweden. We all know what my greatest fear is. But, thats all it is, a fear. A fear that I will not realize, because He has said, "They will be back".
Many times, I have had an assurance of something and once that peace filled me, I lingered upon the fringes of temptation. This time, those temptations to drown my sorrow with our good friend Alcohol, have not been there. I havent even thought of drowning any sorrow, as those sorrows have not been there. Yes, I have missed him, I still do. Hell, honestly, I miss him every week that he is not around me. But, I know that I will see him.
I am bursting with His joy and excitement right now. And only for the fact that He has shown me, and told me, that I am one of His. I used to brood over how much of a sinner I am, how much of an idiot that doesnt deserve all that I have, yet He continues to show me, how I am an idiot for thinking these things.
Although, along this journy of life, I have seen the truths about who I am, and I will tell ya, its a scary thing. Ask God to show you, you. It will open an eye or two. It did me. But, knowledge is key. By seeing my shortcomings, I have been able to work on them. Just over a year ago, I had just moved back from WV and let me tell ya, I was a lost and confused individual.
Now, dont get me wrong, I know that I do not have "it", the answer to life or anything like that. I am comfortable in my position at the moment. I feel safe, resting in His hands. But I know that soon, I will have to venture out into the cold dark world, maybe get me a girlfriend. Will I have the same strength that I have now? Even if I get me a "christian" girlfriend, will I have the strength to withstand the temptations that I know will be thrown at me?
Maybe I should be like Paul, remain single for the rest of my life and just keep my focus upon James. But, I also think that the men that enter into his life, through his mother, will not show him what a man is supposed to be like. Am I the person that would be able to show James, what a man is supposed to be? Only time will tell.....
I would like to say, thanks, to those that have kept me in their prayers. You know who you are....You all are in my prayers also.
Life is good, and no matter how in the dumps I get, I just pray that I will realize that God is sitting right next to me, waiting for me to turn to Him, instead of my devices.
(had written something earlier, but didnt post...so this is completely different, much more jovial.... :) )
posted by The Dog at 3:29 PM
1 Comments:
dude, amen.
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