Waiting

I hate looking for a new job. Waiting for the phone calls, its feels like I'm waiting for the hot girl to give me a phone call. Waiting and wondering if she is going to call. Trying to keep my mind off of the phone call and when the phone finally rings, my heart skips a beat, a smile creeps upon my face, only to be disappointed that its not her, but a friend calling.

I know that God has me in His arms, holding me and trying to reassure me that its going to be ok, but when my mind begins to roam, its difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know I had bitched and moaned about my previous job and to be honest, I wouldnt be surprised if that job had caused me certain health problems, like hight blood pressure etc.

But, it's worse to wake in the morning, wondering what I can do to pass the time. Waking and jumping on the internet to check my emails hoping and praying that there is that perfect job being offered to me. When I log on my heart sinks even deeper because there are no new emails. I can only surf the 'net for so long.

It is hard to maintain the faith that I will find a job soon. It is nerve wracking trying to figure out what to do with my "spare time". I must continue to strive on and continue to walk with my head up, no matter how hard it feels. I must continue to smile when my son comes running up to me, with his beaming smile crying out "Daddy". So happy to see me, he is. Its painful, but by the Grace of God, He has given me a career and I need to continue to remember that and that He will continue to provide for me, the needs that I have.